About this episode
In this episode of The Product Experience, host Lily Smith speaks with veteran product leader Sean Flaherty about a question at the heart of modern product management: how do you influence without authority? Drawing from behavioural science and decades of experience building products and teams, Sean outlines a framework based on self?determination theory — the modern science of intrinsic motivation.Through the lens of autonomy, competence and relatedness, Sean explains why traditional command?and?control leadership undermines creativity and accountability. He shows how true autonomy is structured freedom, how competence is demonstrated through behaviour, and how relatedness builds trust and advocacy among teams and users. Along the way he reframes accountability as something teams hold themselves to, not something enforced by fear, and discusses how leaders can help teams grow, adapt and thrive in a world of constant change.Chapters00:00 — Introduction & central question01:30 — Guest background04:45 — State of leadership today06:10 — Intro to intrinsic motivation08:40 — The “code” of motivation12:28 — Autonomy in teams17:11 — Competence and product work20:30 — Observable behaviour and growth paths23:10 — Adaptability and learning culture24:25 — Accountability misunderstood27:04 — Accountability spectrum31:21 — Addressing negative behaviour36:19 — AI and leadership change38:01 — Leadership trends todayKey Takeaways— Motivation is scientific, not abstract— Product leaders need to understand the science of intrinsic motivation — not just processes or tools — to influence without authority and achieve sustainable outcomes.— Three core motivators drive behaviourAutonomy: people need meaningful choice, not chaos or micro?managementCompetence: motivation increases when people feel capable and are supported to growRelatedness: connection and shared purpose power trust, loyalty and advocacy— Autonomy is structured freedom: Autonomy is not “do whatever you want”. It’s about balancing freedom with guidance so teams can be creative but not lost.— Competence is observed in behaviour, not checklists: Real competence shows up in behaviour — what people do — not just knowledge or titles.— Accountability emerges, not enforced: Traditional accountability relies on fear and external control. In contrast, self?accountability arises when goals are meaningful and environments allow peopleOur HostsLily Smith enjoys working as a consultant product manager with early-stage and growing startups and as a mentor to other product managers. She’s currently Chief Product Officer at BBC Maestro, and has spent 13 years in the tech industry working with startups in the SaaS and mobile space. She’s worked on a diverse range of products – leading the product teams through discovery, prototyping, testing
