About this episode
Today I’m going to talk about how to text an avoidant. This is a topic that I’m sad to say I have a lot of experience with.
I know this is redundant but we know that most of our clients veer towards more anxious behaviors,
While most of our clients exes veer more towards the avoidant side of the spectrum.
Now, when you are dealing with an avoidant it’s best to abide by some of the best texting practices (aka: the stuff we spent the last ten years figuring out.)
It all starts with our texting formula.
Ensure That You Follow The Texting Formula When Texting An Avoidant
Perhaps where Ex Boyfriend Recovery is different than most websites out there recommending you to text your ex is that we’ve come up with a formula.
Ah, but this formula isn’t for one simple text message construction. No, it’s for the whole darn conversation.
Hook + Payoff + High Point = Success
To borrow from the article I literally wrote a few days ago talking about this very thing,
Hook- Basically an open loop. Something so interesting that your ex can’t help but respond to it.
Payoff- An answer to the open loop/hook that leaves an ex feeling satisfied, wanting to help or wanting to engage with you more in some way.
High Point: When the conversation reaches its high point you need to end it.
Here’s a real life example of that in action.
The Blue Is The Hook: I could really use your advice on something…
The Green Is The Payoff: I’m taking a first year geography module next semester, what did you think about Globalization: Economy, Space and Power?
The Pink Is The High Point: (Do I really need to write all that?)
But following the texting formula isn’t the only “best practice” that we’d like you to adopt.
Get Good At Asking Open Ended Questions In “The Hook”
If you are going to ask your ex a question then it’s important for you to make it open ended if possible. If you don’t know what this means then refer to this article,
https://examples.yourdictionary.com/exa
