About this episode
Have you ever felt like making friends used to be easy—but now it feels downright impossible? If you’re longing for deeper connection, author Kristen Strong gets it. In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, Kristen shares practical advice and hard-won wisdom about how to make friends when it doesn’t come naturally anymore from her book Desperate Woman Seeks Friends: Real Talk About Connection, Rejection, and Trying Again for the Friendships You Need. Whether you’re navigating a new season of life or just feeling a little lonely, I think you’ll walk away from our conversation with encouraged.
How to Make and Keep Friends
Kristen grew up in a small Oklahoma town, surrounded by extended family. “I didn’t have to work hard to make friends,” she said. Even in college, she moved with a group of familiar faces. But that all changed when she transferred colleges to follow her husband, Dave, during his military assignment.
“I just assumed I would have instant friends,” she said. “I thought the Lord would just apparate them to my doorstep like in Harry Potter.”
Instead, she found herself isolated for the first time in her life.
It was a turning point. “I had to learn how to connect,” Kristen said. “And now, I’ve written the book I wish I’d had back then.”
The Friendship Deficit
These days, many of us are in the same boat Kristen was in. Life changes, seasons shift, and even our culture doesn’t make it easy. Kristen pointed out that in Western society, independence is often valued over interdependence. “We like our space,” she said, “but that can convince us we don’t need friends.”
And social media? “It can scratch the itch for connection, but it doesn’t satisfy,” Kristen shared. “It’s like eating breadcrumbs all day instead of sitting down to a nourishing meal.”
Showing Up, Opening Up, Praying Up
Kristen offers three pillars for cultivating friendships:
1. Showing Up
“Friendship rarely happens by
