EP 246: Helping Kids Tolerate Shame and Talk about Mistakes

EP 246: Helping Kids Tolerate Shame and Talk about Mistakes

36:28 Dec 2, 2025
About this episode
Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely.Let’s unpack what’s really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You’ll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why refusing to talk about hard things isn’t defiance—it’s protectionWhat’s happening in the brain when a child remembers something painful or shame-filledHow to scaffold conversations about mistakes using stories, characters, and your own modelingThe difference between avoiding hard conversations from connection mode versus protection modeResources mentioned in this podcast:Resources included in the blog summary go hereRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutmistakesGet access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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