About this episode
In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Darlene Lekowski about the lifelong impact of sibling sexual trauma and the journey of letting go of secrets that shaped her adult life. Darlene lives in the Charlotte, NC suburbs with her husband, Tom, their dog Pepper, and is the proud mother of three adult children. Listeners will learn how the process of opening up allowed Darlene to move from perfectionism and hypervigilance to forgiveness, healing, and connection.About Darlene Lekowski:Darlene Lekowski is a speaker, author, and advocate who writes and speaks about what happens when high-functioning adults realize that control and perfection aren’t peace—they’re survival strategies. After decades of striving to “hold it all together,” Darlene was forced to confront the emotional cost of living this way and learn, imperfectly, how to let go.Her debut memoir, Shattering Silence: A Story of Survival, Justice & the Power of Telling the Truth (April 2026), chronicles her journey of reclaiming her voice, redefining success, and choosing freedom over fear.Main Topics Covered:The effects of sibling sexual abuse and trauma on childhood and adult relationshipsUnderstanding and coping with PTSD masked by perfectionism, control, and successThe power dynamics and family pressure that keep childhood trauma secret for decadesHow releasing control and secrets changed Darlene’s relationships with her children and spouseNavigating hypervigilance, competitiveness, and the illusion of “good adulting” as survival strategiesThe role of therapy, supportive friendships, and alternative healing methods like EFT tapping in trauma recoveryThe courage to confront abusers, share your story publicly, and reclaim agency—even through the stress and grief of litigationDarlene’s mission to help others break the silence around sibling sexual abuse and start honest conversations with their own childrenQuote from the Episode:"The problem, when you've got a giant secret, the box leaks... I had PTSD all my life, but I actually wasn't diagnosed with it until I was 58 years old. I thought my behaviors were normal." — Darlene LekowskiTimestamps:00:05 Opening & intros; Darlene’s Charlotte, NC home and warmup questions00:34 Proximity to mountains and ocean;
