How I’ve Made Women Feel Unsafe

In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe. I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact. I also talk about asking my current partner to tell me how I’ve made her feel unsafe over the past eight years. I held her, promised not to defend myself, and listened. And I cried. This isn’t about shame. It’s about ownership. If you’re a man listening, the question isn’t “Am I a good guy?”It’s: Where have I been unsafe — and what would it mean to do better? 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices