About this episode
On the first Tuesday of every month, Chris from TheLionWithin.us and I co-host “Couple’s Night.” Couples from our communities get together to talk about marriage. We discuss struggles, share ideas, tips, and a lot of funny stories. It’s an absolute blast.
This Tuesday, we got together and talked about resiliency in marriage. There were about six couples in the Zoom call, and I thought they all had a lot of wisdom to share, so I tried to quickly take some notes and thought I’d relay them to you.
Because marriages need resiliency, we’re going to face struggles. They might be external, like events happening with your job, your family, your friends, and more. They might be internal, such as the type of struggles two individuals face when you put them together for long periods of time for years on end.
Challenges are normal, but we need to learn how to face them and not only survive them but, ideally, thrive and grow through them.
So, here are the six things our small group came up with.
Grace and Forgiveness
Now, this might seem obvious. After all, we are all imperfect, all sinners and mistakes will be made, whether intentionally or not. Being able to forgive each other and move forward is a necessity. However, knowing that and exercising it in the moment are two very different things.
I imagine there are many couples who sing songs and pray prayers about grace and forgiveness in church and then yell at each other on their way home from the same service.
I know a couple where he is a deacon, she is a deaconess, and they refuse to share a car, even to the church, because they can’t stand each other’s driving.
It’s hard to forgive, especially when that person knows exactly where to poke you to make it hurt the most.
But it’s important to be able to forgive quickly and frequently because the longer you let that unforgiveness fester, the worse the divide between you will become and the harder it will be to reconcile.
Having a spouse who will extend grace and be forgiving gives a lot of freedom to grow. I’ve met too many couples where one or both spouses are afraid to say the wrong thing because the other spouse struggles to forgive and jumps to the worst possible interpretation. In a marriage like that, you can’t share your thoughts, hopes, dreams, or fears because you’re afraid that they’ll be taken wrong and you’ll be attacked for them.
In a marriage that exercises grace and forgiveness, you can express yourself and be known more fully. You can also work together to meet your hopes and dreams and deal with your fears.
Pick Your Battles: Choose the Hills to
