About this episode
“Sensations are the language of the nervous system. When you notice—and stay with—the feeling, the cycle completes and your system comes back to safety.” -- Laurie James
When betrayal scrambles your nervous system, healing isn’t just “mindset”—it’s body-based. In this episode, we unpack somatic, practical ways to calm panic, prevent shutdown, and rebuild your capacity so you can make clear decisions and feel safe again.
Betrayal shocks the body as much as the mind. Lora talks with somatic practitioner and coach Laurie James about nervous system regulation after infidelity—what “somatic” really means, how polyvagal states show up (ventral vagal, sympathetic, dorsal), and simple practices that help you come out of anxiety, numbness, or overwhelm. You’ll learn how to complete the stress cycle, set body boundaries, and create five-minute rituals that expand your capacity without adding more to your plate. Whether you’re staying, leaving, or still deciding, these tools help you feel safer now—so you can choose your next step from clarity, not crisis.
Top 3 Takeaways
Know your state to change your state.
Learn the cues of ventral (present/connected), sympathetic (fight/flight), and dorsal (shutdown). Naming your state reduces shame and gives you a map back to safety.
Small pockets > big pushes.
Micro-practices (5 minutes to ground, orient, breathe, feel sensations) complete the stress cycle and build capacity—so you can handle life with more ease and fewer blowups.
Somatic ? “just think positive.”
80% of information travels from body to brain; regulation starts in the body. Gentle, titrated work prevents re-traumatization and supports wiser decisions during hard conversations, mediation, or reconciliation.
About Laurie James — Somatic Practitioner & Life Coach
Laurie James is a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. Laurie’s podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by her youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to her book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go.
Laurie’s book is about her journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when she was raising four teenage daughters, her mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while her marriage began to crumble.
Now Laurie helps women divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. She blends her coaching and somatic training to help her clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire.
When she is not coaching clients or podcasting, she can be found nurturing her free spirit by walking her dog, skiing, sailing, hiking, spending time with close friends or planning her next adventure.
