About this episode
It is crucial for women to recognize the signs of clergy misconduct, as those who experience betrayal or emotional abuse often turn to their faith communities for solace and support. Here’s what you need to know.
If you relate to this, you need support. Attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session TODAY.
Dave Gemmel, Associate Director of the NAD Ministerial Association, joins Anne Blythe, M.Ed. to discuss clergy misconduct. Congregants seek spiritual guidance, compassion, and leadership from clergy. When pastors, bishops, and other spiritual leaders use their authority to destroy a congregant’s trust or faith in God through misconduct, that sacred role is diminished, and victims may experience severe trauma, which often includes a crisis of faith.
Dave enumerates some of the ways that clergy can violate trust and commit misconduct:
abuse
adult sexual abuse
harassment
rape
sexual assault
sexualized verbal comments or visuals
unwanted touches and advances
use of sexualized materials including pornography
stalking
sexual abuse of youth or those without mental capacity to consent
misuse of the pastoral/ministerial position
Failing to protect a victim of abuse
Can include criminal behaviors that are against the law in some nations, states, and communities.
Understanding How Clergy Misconduct Happens
As Dave explains, pastors have spiritual authority, which makes it impossible for an “asymmetrical relationship” between himself and a congregant. Because of the lack of “considered mutual consent,” a sexual relationship with a pastor or bishop is not an affair, but abuse. Women who have experienced this form of abuse may blame themselves, but abuse is never the victim’s fault.
When clergy take advantage of their position of power, congregants may feel disloyal or unworthy if they report misconduct. Furthermore, congregants, especially abused women, may not know they have betrayal trauma. Utilizing women’s intuition helps prevent clergy misconduct. Because women have adept intuitive abilities to decipher safe or unsafe individuals, Dave suggests all religious organizations implement a 50% policy.
This means that in search committees, boards, and other leadership committees that determine who is leading a congregation, women make up at least half of the group. When women discover betrayal and identify abuse in their relationships, they often seek support from clergy. Dave recommends that women and couples do not seek therapeutic counseling from clergy.
Instead, women suffering from the effects of betrayal and abuse can utilize professionals who are trained in trauma and abuse.
Trained coaches lead the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions. If yo
