About this episode
Counter parenting is one of the most overlooked forms of abuse, where one parent actively works against the other instead of with them. It undermines stability, confuses children, and normalizes emotional abuse in ways that often go unseen. In this episode, we talk about how to recognize counter parenting and why understanding it is vital for creating safety and freedom for you and your kids.
To see if your partner’s behavior is emotionally abusive, take our free emotional abuse quiz.
Six Truths About Counter Parenting Every Mom Needs To Know
1. Counter parenting looks harmless IN public, but it’s cruel IN private.
In public, it may sound like jokes. It may seem like teasing, but in private it cuts deep. What seems like humor or sympathy actually erodes a child’s respect for their mom.
2. counter parenting keeps you busy and confused.
He creates constant fires with the kids that keep you spinning your wheels so that you have to be involved and he can exploit you for parenting. You’re left doing the chores he forgot. Fixing problems he “didn’t know how to handle” or covering responsibilities he shrugs off. The chaos robs you of energy for real parenting and distracts you from the core issue, a pattern of deception and control.
3. counter parenting normalizes emotional abuse.
His anger issues or stress mask his manipulation. He uses secrets and favors to pull kids into his corner and create distance from you.
4. counter parenting grooms and isolates the protective parent.
I went through this. I was so stressful all the time. People thought it was my fault, and they distanced themselves from me. Which was very difficult. While redefining you as unstable, he love bombs the children with gifts, leniency, and special treatment to position himself as the fun one and undermine your authority. It’s important to know that healing doesn’t happen in isolation—it happens in a community of women who truly understand what you’re going through. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions are designed to offer just that.
5. The kids will figure it out sooner than you think.
Kids quickly learn who they feel safe with eventually they will come to know who they can count on.
6. if he’s a terrible husband, he can’t be a good father.
A man who lies and degrades women can never be a good dad.
If this list resonates with your experiences in your marriage, there is a strong possibility you may be facing emotional abuse. To learn effective strategies for protecting yourself, consider enrolling in The Betrayal Trau
