About this episode
🎯 "Mediation? With a NARCISSIST? Are you crazy?"If that's your reaction, you're not alone. Most people in high-conflict divorce assume mediation is pointless when dealing with someone who has a personality disorder or active addiction.But according to Liz Merrill—who spent 20 years married to a narcissist scientist before becoming a divorce mediator herself—it's worth trying. And here's why:"A surprisingly high percentage of people who come with high conflict divorces get through the mediation process successfully without having to resort to litigation," Liz explains. "Because by the time they start mediating and working through and understanding what their options are, they kind of realize that they're not likely to get a better resolution by litigating."Even if mediation doesn't result in settlement, you gain something invaluable: information."Keep your mouth shut and listen to what they're having to say and encourage them to talk," Liz advises for that crucial first session. "You will learn a lot about what's important to them, what they are thinking about, what their strategy might be. And that's all information that you can use in the future, even if you're not using it right now. And that's worth a lot."This conversation reveals why mediation is always worth trying, how to prepare strategically, what you can realistically expect, and why sometimes the "difficult" partner actually comes to mediation thinking they're smarter than everyone else—which creates an opportunity.What You'll Learn:✅ Why high-conflict parties often come to mediation (thinking they can "bamboozle")✅ The role of a CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) in keeping things factual✅ How facts, law, and math create a limited range of outcomes regardless of process✅ Why it's "absolutely always worth trying" mediation (even if only costs a few thousand)✅ The first session strategy: Keep your mouth shut and gather information✅ What you can't mediate (hint: anything that happened in the past)✅ How to prepare for mediation: agenda, goals, realistic expectations✅ Why you shouldn't tell your mediator your "whole sad story"✅ Strategic approach: Easy wins first to build goodwill vs. tackle hard stuff✅ How to use what you learned in session one to inform session two✅ Avoiding "barstool counsel" (Facebook groups, well-meaning friends)✅ Second Saturday workshops: Free divorce education for women✅ Why emotions are "on fire" and how professionals help manage them✅ When Liz's daughters asked "Mom, can we get divorced?"About Liz Merrill:Liz Merrill, known as "the divorce whisperer," is a Colorado-based divorce mediator who spent 20 years in a marriage with a narcissist—a very successful research scientist considerably older than her. They had three daughters together and moved all over the world. "I thought I had to sta
